Saturday, August 05, 2006

Zing-er Supreme Macho Man

Slamming doors is a sign of immaturity; I desperately make an effort to corrent myself. I pledge I will never consent to anger conquering me but I always waver. Universal Truth I have discovered: If you speak when you are angry, you will probably make the best speech you will forever regret.

Do you ever feel you become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the secret hateful parts -- your arrogance, your spite, your condescension -- has sprung open. Someone provokes you, and instead of just smiling and moving on, you zing them. Hello, it's Mr. Nasty.

When I am angry, I either retire to solitude of the beach or put on my trainers and start jogging. I jog briskly stomping the ground, breathing heavily and accelerating. After awhile I halt to catch my breath, I clasp my knees as I bend and ponder on the recent chain of events. I am quick to forget and first to apologize, whenever I have an argument at home and I storm out I always come back with a box of ice cream. The Free ice cream treats have spoilt my sister, once I returned without any; she just stared at me as she opened the door..
“What no Ice cream?” she inquired
“ No Forgiveness for you!!” She remarked in pure Soup Nazi dialect
“Go Get some” she ordered as she shut the door on my face

My manic anger therapy jogs once resulted in a most embarrassing moment.

After about 30 minutes of sporadic & frantic running surprisingly I was jogging along side a female jogger. I was striving hard to maintain my oozing machismo but it was proving difficult to keep pace with her. We had our hellos and were conversing about the weather and how humid it was – typical jogger chitchat.

HER: "Don’t you just love this side of the park"
ME: "Yes its beautiful" *breathing heavily*
HER:"I always come to this park as I find it very scenic"
ME:"Yes" *slowly losing energy*
HER: "Its so lovely to jog here, I hate it in the morning when its hot.. Its much better in the night"
ME: "Yes" "signs showing that I am struggling*
HER: "Yes?? Yes what? Are you alright?"
ME: "Yes Superb"
HER: "You seem to be panting, do you want me to slow down"
ME: "Its either that or you will have to carry me"

She laughed and we started walking.. a pace I was so much comfortable with :)

ME: "I have had a long day"
HER: "Of course you have"
ME: "No really it’s been tiring day and besides it’s humid too"
HER: "Of course it is"
ME: "I just wanted you to know that"
HER: "Of course you did"
ME: "Are you being sarcastic?"
HER: "Of course not"
ME: "Alright!! You are much fitter than me. It was hard for me to keep up. Now you happy!!"
HER: "Of course I am"

Mr. Macho Man Zinged Supremely :)

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