The sharing of joy, whether physical, emotional, psychic, or intellectual, forms a bridge between the sharers which can be the basis for understanding much of what is not shared between them, and lessens the threat of their difference. This is the birth of True Friendship.
Such a friendship between a man and a woman which does not lead to feelings or desire for feelings may be a life long experience of the greatest value to themselves and to all their circle of acquaintance and of activity; but for this type of friendship both a rare man and a rare woman are needed. Perhaps it should be added that either the man or the woman thus deeply bound in lifelong friendship who seeks marriage must find a still rarer man or woman to wed, to make such a three cornered comradeship a permanent success.
How difficult is it for a man and woman to be close friends and not harbor any feelings for each other?
If you do develop feelings for a close friend and are doubtful that the feelings are mutual would you divulge your thoughts even if you risk destroying your friendship or would you maintain your silence and enjoy their company?
5 comments:
I deleted my last comment, hope you don't mind! lol Figured I was talking about myself too much. So here is the shortened version:
Perhaps it should be added that either the man or the woman thus deeply bound in lifelong friendship who seeks marriage must find a still rarer man or woman to wed, to make such a three cornered comradeship a permanent success.
Yes, I think that is what makes it difficult to be just friends with a person of the opposite sex. What if you never do find someone rarer but end up marrying anyway? Do you honestly think you could maintain your friendship with that other person without your spouse becoming jealous? Unless he is so special himself that he can accept it and the three of you can all be good friends. I honestly wouldn't want my husband to have a best female friend. Acquaintances, sure. But not a really good female friend whom he shares so much with. Because the fact of the matter is, they are not related and there will always be a possibility of there being something more, and a spark could happen at any time, even after one or both of them are married. It's risky!
How difficult is it for a man and woman to be close friends and not harbor any feelings for each other?
For some it seems really easy. I always have doubts about such people lol *hijabi* Well, I suppose there are guys that I am acquaintances with and with whom I would never imagine a future with or develop feelings for. But I think it's difficult to be such good friends with someone.
My question would be, if you are such good friends with someone (and the age difference is reasonable), then why don't the two actually consider marriage?
If you do develop feelings for a close friend and are doubtful that the feelings are mutual would you divulge your thoughts even if you risk destroying your friendship or would you maintain your silence and enjoy their company?
If I were good friends with someone and had feelings for him, I suppose, depending on where I am in life, would keep the friendship, hoping he would maybe develop feelings for me too. I would take a look at where he is in life, if he has a chance of meeting someone else, etc. etc. If I think he doesn't have a chance of meeting someone else anytime soon, I'd maintain the friendship with hope. Otherwise, I'd let it go, because it would hurt.
My question would be, if you are such good friends with someone (and the age difference is reasonable), then why don't the two actually consider marriage?
Maybe they are not attracted to each other..
Maybe they both have different expectations of an ideal life partner..
Maybe there are feelings but not mutual and someone is not ready to take the risk..
so ironic..i'm having a similar conversation w/ a friend on msn...
about approaching a friend...i'd say that since we come from a (ok, i know how you hate this word, but...) culture and religion, most importantly, that discourages the idea of men and women being "just friends" and lets say you do develope more than friendly feelings for a friend, then why not just tell them? I mean, especially if both of you are from a similar upbringing, have an understanding of this concept, and have similar feelings, then why not get married?
Still, lets say marriage isn't on either's mind but they would like to remain friends? mmm i think that that isn't possible. Especially if one of you stays single while the other gets married. I know I would defintely not approve if my husband had single female friends! I'd roast him! hehe.
salaam,
~ m ~
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salaams,
~ Madiha ~
p.s. thanks so much for the add to your list of blogs :D
"Maybe there are feelings but not mutual and someone is not ready to take the risk.. ",
Nothing ventured, nothing gained...
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